Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Shame - the story of my life.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize