i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
