All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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