And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
