the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
