Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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