he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
