That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
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