I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
You are the jesus of drinking
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
