you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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