So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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