Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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