I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
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