I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
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