Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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