so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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