I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
