You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As shirtless as possible
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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