im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
