I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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