she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
i drank out of a bidet.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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