i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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