Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
