Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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