My room smells like vodka and shame
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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