I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
