That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
