Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
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she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
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And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize