I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
