if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
