I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
