Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
