I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
