? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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