i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
