i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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