you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
