I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
