why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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