I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
