We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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