Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
