He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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