one two three fourrrrnication!
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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