we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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