I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
You smell like a Billy Joel song
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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