I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
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