and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
