Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
He did a backflip because drugs
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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