): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Is it because I queefed?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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