I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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