4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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