A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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