okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
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