i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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