Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
