He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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