Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
