i don't plan on having that self control this summer
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize