Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
