Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
