i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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