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• (478): View more from Georgia

  you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.

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• (361): View more from Texas

  yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.

  (361): View more from Texas

  I just can't bring boyfriends home.

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• (951): View more from California

  My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome

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• (512): View more from Texas

  things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"

  (210): View more from Texas

  I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.

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• (281): View more from Texas

  So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?

  (713): View more from Texas

  Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.

  (1-785): View more from Kansas

  What does that mean?

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Internet is down.

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• (845): View more from New York

  He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.

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